Know the Power of No

Every one of our “yeses” and nos” has a cost. When I say yes to something I will do, buy, think, talk about, I am saying no to other options I have for how I am going to spend that portion of my time, money, energy and focus. We aren’t always conscious of all of that as we are making our choices and often end up surprised that our life, work or business does not look like we want it to.

As a management consultant and business coach, I am often called on to help executives and business professionals in their strategic planning process. A big part of strategic planning is deciding where an organization will focus its limited time and resources to best achieve its mission and vision. It’s deciding what to say no to and what to say yes to. The wrong yes can mean pouring valuable time and money into a certain direction that ends up draining resources with little return. On the other hand, saying yes to the right things, can mean increased revenues, lucrative new ventures, loyal customers, an energized workforce, and most importantly, positive progress toward achieving the vision.

This principle applies to our personal lives as well. Let’s do a quick self-assessment, how often has our decision to say yes to the “wrong” thing contributed to the things in our life we are currently unhappy about? What about saying yes to eating certain foods that have caused us to gain those extra ten pounds we don’t want? What about the high blood pressure we are battling that may have been caused by our choice to create a schedule for ourselves that has no downtime or our decision to hold onto anger or resentment toward someone who may have hurt us? What price are we paying because we’ve chosen to spend hours watching TV or on Facebook as our more intimate relationships with our spouse, best friends or our kids suffer from relational malnourishment?

There’s a great article from the Harvard Business Review that I share with many of my clients. It is called “The Strategic Power of Saying No” by Susan Bishop. In the article, Susan shares a story from her own business experience that is a powerful illustration of the transformational impact of knowing your vision and staying focused on it; even when the proverbial carrot is being dangled in front of your face to tempt you to say yes to something else.

She was the owner of an executive search firm.In the earlier stages of her business, she wouldn’t spend a lot of time assessing if she should take on a client opportunity; especially if it paid well. She thought the best growth strategy was in her words “to grant all our clients’ wishes” and to be willing to take on clients even when she knew they would pose many challenges to the company. That often led to burned out employees and low profit margins. Then she came to a turning point where she more narrowly defined her market and what she was willing to do for them. The scariest part was when six figure business opportunities came and she had to say, “Sorry, that’s not our market.” One of the toughest tests came when she turned down a contract for $250,000 from Coca Cola. Then it happened: business started coming in that resulted in higher profit margins, companies she said no to came back with opportunities that were a better fit for the market she had defined.

Day to day, choice by choice, we are building our future. What we say no to and what we say yes to can mean the difference between a life full of regrets, or a life marked by gratitude for a life well lived.